I just banished a demon from whence it came

I've been a crapaholic this week it has been awful swell. Skinny times rule over bloated times. Hell yeah. Love Doris.

toilet's thought

haha "pile" (post below).

TOILET'S LOG

10.20am - whatever came out of me just now was a fucking opus. so now i have to like die now right, can't be topped? MAGNIFICENT!

sorry i haven't been so diligent here. there's days i don't go and then they pile up and i forget. but don't worry about my irregularities there are heaps of days when it's simply mountains and mountains of pound-shedding perfume no.02's.

I LOVE YOU BABY

aw i just looked down and noticed i already made an opus before hahaha.

TOILET'S LOG

11.51am JUST TOOK A GORGEOUS DUMP

yesterday was pretty fruitful as well as prior to that the shop had been all closed up for awhile. premenstrual stock-up i suppose. hate it. we're all good now though coasting happily back into skinny town. bye-o!

TOILET'S LOG

10.00am DOUBLE HEADER

those ones came courtesy of red wine and pizza. mm carb craps are the best. ew why am i mmm-ing? anyway, fuck YEAH! life is good hello friday.

TOILET'S LOG

11.15am PHENOM!

it's been a great week for deucing.

TOILET'S LOG

1.15pm - PROBABLY MY GREATEST MASTERPIECE YET

it was my opus.

TOILET'S LOG

12.30pm AMAZING DEUCE

solid, significant, rewarding.

TOILET'S LOG

seriously the crap i took earlier today was so spectacular i would like to discuss it even more but i have to tan now before making sangria to take over to my aunt's for curry chicken. i ate a banana so that plus sangria plus curry chicken equals special date with crapper tomorrow.

i'm so hot right now you don't have to tell me, i KNOW.

TOILET'S LOG

hi people sorry i haven't been updating here as often. last week was super dry and i was getting tired of stressing about it. then all the sudden i am crap central for a couple days, coinciding with massive hangovers and the inability to shakespearize my deuce entries. just ten minutes ago i experienced a life changing bowel movement i think i owe it all to that banana i ate yesterday and sashimi dinner, plus red wine. red wine always does it to you i totally forgot about that as i stopped drinking it but monday at fil's parents they opened up this really nice bottle we got them for mothers/fathers/something day and gave us a glass oh man - nice red wine is dangerous cos you will always be seeking out more and more of it and afterward cheaper stuff (albeit still nice) is repulsive and impossible to get through. no matter though all you need is a teeny bit for laxative purposes.

can you become immune to metamucil? or if your body isn't gonna go there's no forcing it?

TOILET'S LOG

12.19pm - I CRAPPED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hopefully there is more on the horizon.

TOILET'S LOG

so i did go saturday at the cottage, it wasn't terribly impressive but it was something. hoping this week will be way more fruitful. cross your fingers for me.

TOILET'S LOG

it hasn't been fruitful lately i'm afraid

it would be nice to go before we leave for the cottage

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighh

even had metamucil yesterday and nothing

japan is awesomely insane

these poo fairy characters (and there's loads more to choose from) come from an island shaped like themselves: poo



also if you ever say poo around me we are no longer friends

i do not hang with babies

TOILET'S LOG

and the crap by numbers rolls are painful and confusing and terrifying

you look down and are like THERE'S BLACK IN MY PISS?

TOILET'S LOG

11.10am - HEARTY AND MAGNIFICENT

earth shattering

it has also come to my attention by the poll below that no one (aside from myself) voted in, that nobody is even reading this literal shit blog

sigh

you give you give and you give

TOILET'S POLL

when i finally get around to using these crap by numbers rolls should i post a picture of my painting?
	yes
	no
Free polls from Pollhost.com

TOILET'S LOG

12ish - SOLID

went yesterday at the pub and it was not a good time mainly because i was wearing a bodysuit and had to hold it to one side while wiping 56 times

i do not recommend wearing bodysuits when taking craps in public places

TOILET'S LOG

12ish - went and it was hot and slick and fast and cleansing

the whole time the cat was in the tub going mental from the cat nip remnants in there i found it to be distracting

i am getting tired of keeping this crap journal

TOILET'S LOG

11.15pm - my ass hurts came out HOT and FAST with some mild cramping

there will be more

all the garbage consumed yesterday (two 99 cent no name burritos, movie popcorn, maltesers, vodka diet coke, late nite pesto pasta, some white wine) is definitely helpin' with today's flow

as well the metamucil

woke up at 4 feelin' like UH OH

working through double espresso right now we'll see how it pans out